Archive for personal

My Reaction To Blood

Posted in about purple, spooks with tags , , , , , , , on February 1, 2010 by Purple

2/1/2010

Sometimes I can handle seeing blood, but sometimes I can’t. In real life, I can probably take it, if it’s not too much, but the description of blood or seeing it in a movie makes me feel uneasy. Like during English class, we were reading a passage that described a husband as the wife’s “red velvet cake”, and how she murdered him was how she “cut her velvet cake”. It was disgusting. My legs went all numb during that reading. I couldn’t stand it. Then while I was watching Jennifer’s Body, when the band was “sacrificing” Jennifer, I couldn’t take it. My legs got all numb and I just managed to walk into my room. Seriously, I banged into the wall on the way there. Even watching Saw, the movie where that guy got his gut cut up, even while he was still alive. My stomach got uneasy during that part. I can’t take that kind of thing, watching or reading the gruesome details of that. It’s sickening. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe all this has to do with my fear of knives. I describe the situation here: https://soulthecolorpurple.wordpress.com/2010/02/01/seeingknifescream/#respond
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just get uneasy during those situations. What do you think about all this? Post your comments here.

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seeing+knife=scream

Posted in about purple, funnies, spooks with tags , , , , , , , , on February 1, 2010 by Purple

2/1/2010

Last night, my older sister was playing with me in the kitchen. She took out a huge knife, and I literally screamed, and I could feel the organs in my throat vibrate. It was like, in soprano mode or something. You know what the funny part was? I remember every single thing I did before that moment, but when I saw that knife, I don’t even know what I did. Did I just close my eyes and scream, or look at the knife and scream? I got no clue. haha Well anyways, my dad was in the kitchen too, and he looked at me in disbelief. My neighborhood is super quiet, and my voice could probably be heard everywhere. I can’t help it though, I just can’t stand looking at knives. It freaks me out. Whenever I see one, I just scream hysterically. It’s weird, yet funny at the same time. Even when my sister grabbed a butter knife from a cake box in front of me. I gave out a scream and scurried back. Also when I watched Jennifer’s body, when she got “sacrified”, my legs got numb. I saw the knife they were going to use, and I just couldn’t take it. I can just imagine what I would be like if a burglar came into my house and brought out a knife. I’d frickin scream, and that would be the last noise I would make. haha I can’t help it though. I’m not like, irrationally afraid of knives, it’s just a reflex of mine to scream when I see one.

That’s my story. I can’t quite tell if I actually have a knife phobia or paranoia towards knives. I don’t think it’s either, and here’s why:

Phobia: 

an exaggerated usually inexplicable and illogical fear of a particular object, class of objects, or situationan

Paranoia:

a thought process heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion

Which do you think I have? Is it neither, the way I think of it? What’s a good word for it then? The symptom I have, the natural reflex I have towards seeing a knife? Comment your answer here.

Are They Really Her Friends?

Posted in friends with tags , , on January 13, 2010 by Purple

1/13/2010

I think I’m gonna have posts about just friends today. hehe I just feel like it today. So one friend of mine, kinda friend, :/ I don’t know anymore. But anyway, she has bad taste in friends. Really, she does. She hangs out with people who tease her behind her back, that ditch her all the time, and she just CLINGS to one girl that laughs when someone makes a  joke about her, the friend that has bad taste in friends. That’s the kind of friends I hate. My friend isn’t such a horrible person. Yeah, so she brings off a gloomy aura, but that doesn’t mean you should be mean to her. Like the two girls that tease her behind her back, it happens a lot. And those two and another girl, they all take advantage of my friend! It’s mean. Like one of the tease-behind-her-back girls ask my friend for things, and if my friend doesn’t give it to her, she’ll get mad at my friend. That’s total usage. It makes me sick. Then that girl that laughs when someone teases my friend. That girl IS nice, but I don’t care how funny the joke about my friend is, you do NOT laugh at your friend’s expense. Terrible friends, people can be. I make sure I’m always there for my friends, chatting, work, the works. Like my friend that is the chatty one, she doesn’t want to be a “loner”. Maybe that’s the only reason she hangs with me. I used to be a loner, and quite frankly, I don’t care if I’m a loner if I have to choose between shitty friends or lonership.

So yeah, I guess that’s basically it then. I’ll leave it at that, before I mention other things you’ll have to read through and need eye surgery from too much staring. lol Oh yeah, and tell me in a comment if you’ve experienced friends like the one my friend has. Or if you know someone with friends like that, how you feel about their situation. Whatever suits you. 🙂

Manners

Posted in random, rants with tags , , , , , on January 12, 2010 by Purple

1/12/2010

So today was school for me, but the classes I had today were horrible. Now I already hate all my classes I have today, but today Band just made me go crazy. Let me set the scene for you. Our teacher has us in rows, right? And one person out of each row is the leader for their row, preferrably the one that’s the most experienced. Now my leader SUCKS. I already didn’t like that person years ago, and now they are my section’s leader. Sucks right? But wait, there’s more. …for confidentiality, let’s call this person shim. I get seated comfortably with someone that I enjoy being around, but my leader switches the seating! Not only does shim make me have my seating differently, but shim makes me sit by shim, and I’m at the end of the row too! How fucked up is that!? My mind is similar to an elephant’s one. I remember everything, especially things I keep to my heart. Example is the bad things in life. I know it’s bad to harbor over those kinds of things, but I’m stuck with it just as a fly is stuck with a spider’s web. Nomatter how hard I try to get away, the memories flow back. So anyways, I mentioned that because I can’t remember what causeed me to not like shim, I just don’t. But today shim did something I won’t soon be forgetting. At the beginning of class, the teacher gives me a note sheet for a song. I put it on my stand. Then shim comes by and we share the stand. Now I’ll tell you right now: I don’t like sharing stands. When I tell you what shim did today, you’ll understand why. So when the teacher gives me the paper, I put it over my book. Now when class starts, I stretch my hand out to grab the sheet and move it to the back, but shim grabs it and puts it behind my book where I can’t get it. So I get this protective streak coming out, but I don’t say anything. I figure if shim tries anything, I’ll tell shim it’s mine. So class begins, we play our instruments, the teacher teaches, but shim is over there moving the stand, so shim can see better! WHAT THE FUCK! I made it so that BOTH of us could see it! But I don’t want to make shim think I have a problem, so I secretly move the stand back to its former position when I get the chance, when shim looks away. But even after doing that, shim moves it again! We’re supposed to SHARE THE GOD DAMN THING, ASSWIPE! God! I still don’t say anything, but I try to move it again secretly. It works for a while, but asswipe there gotta move it again! Man, I couldn’t even concentrate on my music. I just felt like beating the shit out of shim. Not that I’m good in band anyway. But I don’t say anything, as usual, but I do get this thought: fine, be that way, I’ll just shove that attempt up your ass. I moved closer to shim on my chair, and eventually hit shim on the shoulder with my instrument. I acted like I didn’t mean that to happen, going bug-eyed, and secretly half of me didn’t want to hit shim. I just felt so pissed though. But shim acts like nothing even happened, so class just continues as always. Now the teacher wants to look at the sheet  gave the class earlier. We play some of it (well for me I attempted lol), and soon shim asks me if I had a paper like the one we’re looking at. I think to myself: YOU LITTLE PRICK ASS! It’s MY paper! But I just say: “yeah, this one” and point to the music sheet. But shim keeps asking the same question, as if the sheet was shims! Pissed me off. I couldn’t concentrate on my music again. When class finally ends, we put our things away, and shim walks off with my sheets! God, pissed me off, little piece of shit. Oh yeah, ” if shim tries anything, I’ll tell shim it’s mine.” TOTALLY what happened. <—- *note the sarcasm* Ugh, I don’t like making scenes, so I just ignore stuff. To tell you the truth, I can’t really remember the scene when the teacher gave me those sheets. But I can backup my claim somehow: I was the one that put those sheets on my book. So it HAD to be mine. Damn *words I would call shim but I feel like if I tell you you might figure out the gender, which I wouldn’t want*

So there you have it. A person without manners is someone like shim. Oh yes, there’s much more to manners than what shim  did not demonstrate, but for now, let’s keep it like this. What? You didn’t see anything wrong with what shim did? Well, how about changing our stand, which I brought out, with my book, which I setted up so that both of us could see well. Then taking my sheets! Damn shit. Hate it. I want to be switched back with my old buddy! I don’t want to be with that prick anymore! I HATE shim! While my old partner wasn’t too good, at least they were nice and made me laugh sometimes. But with shim, all I get is a HEADACHE!

Homework

Posted in homework, random, rants with tags , , , on January 11, 2010 by Purple

1/11/2010

xD I was thinking of a subject to type about, and when homework struck my mind, a huge smile crossed my face. Oh God, do I hate homework. lol Why go to school to just continue with the work at home? I’m a fridgin kid for Christ’s sake! I’m supposed to have fun after school! And that’s the law I go by, which gets me into a lot of trouble. hehe I just can’t do my homework at home. It just won’t get done. I usually go on my computer, watch tv, or play on my DSi when I get home. Even when I know that I have homework, some that is due tomorrow, I just don’t do it. Then when it’s nighttime, like 9pm, I start on my homework. xD I just can’t do it when I get home. It’s an impossibilty. Homework hates me, and I hate homework. lol I think it’s stupid to have work for home hours. OMG. ESPECIALLY during the WEEKEND! COME ON!!! It’s MY time! FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! Oh…my…GOD. When I get homework during the BREAK, I just freak out. I don’t want to be thinking about homework during my breaks, people! Jesus christ! Ugh.

Well there you have my rant on homework. If you agree, write a comment will ya? If you don’t agree, you’re probably a dull adult. xD Just kiddin. Whether you agree or not, I’d like to know, so comment this post with your opinion. But remember, nomatter what: HOMEWORK SUCKS

Why Do You Have A Blog?

Posted in about purple, random with tags , on January 11, 2010 by Purple

1/10/2010

Hello again. Would you like to get to know me better? Well, this section will help you with just that. Why do you have a blog? It’s a very good question. Why have your feelings, your daily life online, where the world can see it? Personally, I made one so that I can talk about my day, how I feel about certain things, ect. But I don’t neccissarily care if anyone ever looks at this or not. So why use this site to talk about my day and my feelings towards certain subjects online if I don’t care if anyone sees it or not? Well, I like typing, and this place impressed me, sort to speak. I haven’t gotten my blog page up as I imagined I would, like the first post I ever made on my page, then the rest on the side bar, just showing the subjects of the rest of the posts. That would be cool to have, but I’m not sure if this site can do that. The Support page doesn’t really help with that either. lol So yeah, that’s basically why I have this. I want to share my true feelings about things, about my life. I don’t really have anyone else I can share it with, so this seems acceptable. Well, I’ll go now, but before you do, leave a comment on why you have a blog. If you don’t have one, you could tell me why you don’t, or why you do but don’t use it anymore. Any is fine. See ya. 🙂

My Sports

Posted in sports with tags , , , , on January 9, 2010 by Purple

1/8/2010                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  (p.s. Nomatter what this site says the date is, I’m always right ^^)

I only took a sport when I was in 7th grade. Let’s just say I went to several other schools before I came to the one I’m in, the one I joined in 7th grade. My other schools didn’t have sports teams, but the one I’m currently in does. I joined Volleyball in 7th grade. The sport was hard to play, and I didn’t quite understand the game and the rules and such either. I tried though, and made it to all the practices. There were too many girls on the team, so we had to get cut. I was afraid, but I made it. I was afraid of screwing up during a game though, and on the first game, I did mess up. RIGHT after that mess up, the coach took me out, and I NEVER got back in, into ANY games. This fact burns within my soul, because I gave my all to that coach. Sure, I didn’t play well, but I gave him my loyalty. It’s hard to do that, for me anyways. I came to every practice, went to every game, even brought food when it was MY turn, even though I didn’t even PLAY! That pisses me off. I wanted to quit, and just two weeks into the sport my friend did as well. I devoted myself to that team though, so I stayed the whole season. But I vowed that never again would I play for those coaches. The team was crappy too, always wanting to have a different partner other than me. Bitches. Hate them all. Pisses me off, how they treated me. But I stayed for the sport, to prove to the coach that I wasn’t just there to be the star of the team. But playing at SOME games would’ve been nice! So from that time on, I vowed to never again play for that coach. I’m in the middle of 8th grade now, and they have a new coach. But the season is already in session, so I can’t participate. Oh well, there’s always next year.

So now you know my story. That part, at least. 🙂 I have so much more to share, but I’ll go now. I need to get ready to go to my sister’s Basketball game. She’s a great player, it’s just her teammates that suck. She’s the one that convinced me to join volleyball too. And now she’s opened up basketball for me too. But I don’t REALLY enjoy those sports. I LOVE swimming, but it’s my weight that holds me back. *sigh* Is there ANY sport that I can join while having a PASSION for?